When someone acts in a way that seems strange to you, rather than reacting in your usual way, such as, “I can’t believe they would do that,” instead say something to yourself like “I see, that must be the way she sees things in her world. Very interesting.”
When you are genuinely curious about the way someone reacts or the way they feel about something, it’s unlikely that you will be annoyed.
When you are interested in other perspectives, it doesn’t imply, even slightly, that you’re advocating it. It just means that there are many perspectives of looking at the same thing.
Each person views the world differently. Each person reacts and feels differently based on their beliefs, paradigms, upbringing, experiences, values etc.....
Monday, October 11, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Stopping to Blame ‘Something’ or ‘Someone’
When someone is doing something or is about to do something, in a way we don’t want it to be done and when we are not able to accept it, we become angry.
However, When someone is doing something or is about to do something, in a way we don’t want it to be done - and we are able to accept it- we remain tolerant.
When someone has something which we don’t have, or someone is able to produce the results which we are not able to produce- and we are not able to accept it – we become jealous.
When someone has something which we don’t have, or someone is able to produce the results which we are not able to produce and we are able to accept it we get inspired.
Then emotional equation is quite simple.
Something + Acceptance = Positive Emotion
Something + Non Acceptance = Negative Emotion
So, it is not ‘something’ or ‘someone’ who is making us feel positive or negative, but it is our ‘acceptance’ or ‘non acceptance’ of something or someone, which is making us feel positive or negative.
It isn’t the world but the quality of our response to the world that determines the quality of our emotions. Next time we feel disturbed with a negative emotion, instead of asking who or what is disturbing us, we will examine who or what we are resisting (not accepting) that is causing this disturbance in us. We will replace resistance (non acceptance) with acceptance, and the negative emotion will turn into a positive one.
Emotional management begins by stopping to blame that ‘something’ or ‘someone’ and starting to take the responsibility to respond life with ‘acceptance’.
However, When someone is doing something or is about to do something, in a way we don’t want it to be done - and we are able to accept it- we remain tolerant.
When someone has something which we don’t have, or someone is able to produce the results which we are not able to produce- and we are not able to accept it – we become jealous.
When someone has something which we don’t have, or someone is able to produce the results which we are not able to produce and we are able to accept it we get inspired.
Then emotional equation is quite simple.
Something + Acceptance = Positive Emotion
Something + Non Acceptance = Negative Emotion
So, it is not ‘something’ or ‘someone’ who is making us feel positive or negative, but it is our ‘acceptance’ or ‘non acceptance’ of something or someone, which is making us feel positive or negative.
It isn’t the world but the quality of our response to the world that determines the quality of our emotions. Next time we feel disturbed with a negative emotion, instead of asking who or what is disturbing us, we will examine who or what we are resisting (not accepting) that is causing this disturbance in us. We will replace resistance (non acceptance) with acceptance, and the negative emotion will turn into a positive one.
Emotional management begins by stopping to blame that ‘something’ or ‘someone’ and starting to take the responsibility to respond life with ‘acceptance’.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Fear
Don't waste your life in doubts and fears: spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours or ages that follow it
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